[Strange Fruit]

Rocking back and forth

Wringing my hands

Stroking my legs or arms

Holding myself

I don’t realize I do it until someone brings it up or asks me why I’m doing it.

Then of course I become self conscious of it but I can’t/don’t stop because it’s kind of a compulsion I feel weird if I can’t do it.

I’ve done it as long as remember.

I’m rocking as I type this.

It’s as if my body is trying to tell my mind “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

I think my inner child needs some sort of validation….

and love.